Second Time Around
by jazziesman26
Summary: Edward and Jasper Meet at a party, but something seems very familiar.  Can Edward trust Jasper enough to reveal the secret about his past? Future chapters likely to be M rated, slash.
1. Chapter 1

Jasper opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling, relieved to see that it had finally stopped spinning. He slowly sat up to find that his pants were still mostly on, but unzipped and half way around his thighs, with his button up shirt wadded up in a ball next to him. "At least I managed to get my shoes off this time." He mumbled to himself. "I really need to go easy with the vodka on work nights." And it was a work day, he realized, searching for his phone to check the time. 10:23 am. He had 37 minutes to get to work.

He stumbled across his studio apartment to the shower, barely remembering to duck under the pipe that ran across the middle of the room. Now the room was spinning again. At least the water helped a little to make him feel a little more human. Being short on time, he only had time to rinse off and wet his hair before quickly toweling off and throwing on his work clothes, black pants and a company issued grey polo. Jasper knew his hair would be a frizzy mess in a few hours, but he didn't have time to worry about.

He grabbed his phone, keys and wallet, and ran up the stairs to the studio space he shared. Alice was already up and working, as usual, at the easel in the corner.

"Jasper! What the hell dude? You know your going to get fired if you keep running in late all the time!"

"Yeah, I know." He grumbled back. "I'm going. Driving today." And ran out the door, allowing it to slam loudly behind him.

It was unusual for Jasper to drive his car. It usually sat parked in the street as Jasper preferred to ride his bike most places instead. It was often faster, especially during rush hour traffic, and he never had to worry about gas prices or parking. Luckily the deli he worked in had a parking lot, and there was rarely traffic at 11 am.

He made it just in time, entering his code to into the time clock just before it clicked over. He walked behind the counter to find James glaring with his arms crossed.

"That was close Jasper. You know you're on a final warning." He said before walking away to his office.

Jasper sighed, and leaned against the counter as he looked over his prep list. It was going to be a long day.

"Eddie... Ed... Ed... Edward... Hey! Eddie! Wake up!"

"Sleeping... stop poking... Emmet!" He pulled the blankets up over his head, groaning as he rolled away from his brother and his obnixious poking finger. "5 more minutes."

"Dude, now. It's already 5:00. We need to get ready for the show." Emmet reminded him. "Don't make me drag you out of bed."

"Alright! I'm getting up!" Edward shouted, sitting up and throwing off his blankets. The last time Emmet had dragged him out of bed, he had thrown him outside on the front lawn. In the rain. Edward was definitely awake after that, but he didn't want to go through it again.

Edward got out of bed and went straight for the shower, nearly falling asleep again as the hot water ran down his back. He finally snapped awake as the hot water started to run out, and quickly finished soaping up and shampooing his hair. He dried off quickly and stood in front of the full length mirror, admiring his chest and muscular arms and shoulders. He wasn't egotistical about his looks, but was still caught off guard sometimes by how much his body had changed into the past 4 years. The scars on his chest had faded so much that they were nearly invisible, and his curvy hips had straightened out into a defined 6-pack, and he finally was able to grow a beard. Any one who didn't know that he had been born a woman, wasn't likely to guess it. He was still amazed by how much of a difference testosteone injections could make.

"Quit checking yourself out Ed!" Emmet yelled from the hallway, "The first band is here to set up!"

"I'm not!" Edward called back, before grabbing his pajama's and heading back to his room to get dressed.

Emmet watched his brother walk past, amazed at how built he had become. Edward was hot, and often had a line of girls, and sometimes boys, vying for his attention. He was surprised how easy it had become to see Edward, his brother, instead of Elizabeth, his sister. Edward was much happier now too, though he still had his private and withdrawn moods.


	2. Chapter 2

Jasper could hear the DJ's music coming from the party as he slowly drove around the block, cursing as he searched for a parking spot. "Damn. Why the fuck did I decide to drive this morning." Because he was running late, and probably would have gotten fired if he hadn't. Finally he found a spot, and managed to squeeze his beat up Honda between 2 huge SUV's. "Fucking gas guzzlers" He muttered to himself. "I don't understand why people drive those damn things". He slipped a pint of Whiskey into his back pocket, and lit a cigarette as he headed to the party to meet his band.

Still hung over from the night before, and jittery from drinking too much Red Bull at work, he was in no mood to play a show tonight. It didn't help that he was running late from work, would be stuck wearing whatever crazy outfit Alice had picked out for him, and that Seth would be setting up his Guitar and amp for him. Please let this not be a disaster, he thought to him self as he headed down the ally to find the stage.

Edward had spent the night pacing around the back yard, waiting for a disaster. He hated crowds, and having this many people at his house, combined with punk music and alcohol, was making his anxiety sky rocket. He did have to admit that they had a perfect back yard for live bands, and the money they made off these parties was worth it. Across the yard, on the cement patio that served as a stage, the members of the next band were pacing around anxiously, waiting for their guitar player to arrive. It was a new band for Edward and Emmet to be working with, and they had been hesitant to book them in the first place without knowing any of the members. So far it seemed to be a pretty standard punk band, consisting of skinny tattoo'd boys in even skinnier Jeans, with a chick wearing too much make up on vocals.

"Where the hell is he?" Seth asked, scanning the crowd in search of Jasper's curly blond hair.

"Relax Seth" Jacob warned, "I told you already, He's looking for a parking spot. He'll be here any minute."

"Don't forget he needs to get changed" Bella reminded them. "And with Alice in charge of his wardrobe it could be a while."

"Shit, your right" Seth said with a groan. "Thank god they have a DJ or this crowd could get crazy"

Finally, Jasper came running out of the house, dressed in the black and white plaid pants, doc martens, and 'the Queers' shirt Alice had picked out for him. He shoved through the crowd and onto the patio, apologizing for being late. After a quick swig of his whisky, in a toast to not fucking up, he picked up his guitar and began tapping his foot along the beat that Jacob had set on the drums. As soon as Seth's bass joined in, and Jasper got through the first couple of chords of the opening song, he managed to relax and enjoy himself.

And the kids in the crowd seemed to be enjoying the show as well. It didn't take long for a circle pit to form, and before long a group of kids he had seen at some of their past show made there way to the front of the pit and sang along with Bella.

Edward had slipped back into the house, where he normally spent his time during shows. As the kids got drunker, they tended to wander into the house. They didn't mind the stoners who would often smoke blunts in the living room, but it got to be a problem when people started looking for bedrooms or raiding the fridge. It was pretty quiet inside, and the next band had started, so Edward decided to head back outside and check them out. The band sounded good, so it seemed to have been worth the wait for their guitar player.

He grabbed a beer from the cooler, and walked along the fence to get a better angle to watch from. The band members were all full of energy and jumping around the stage, and Edward found himself nodding his head to the beat. After a couple songs, the Guitar player, and only member Edward hadn't met previously, stepped up to the mike to introduce the next song.

"How's everyone doing tonight?" He called out, getting a jumble of cheers and whistles in response. "We're Felon Love from right here in Chicago, and I think It's time for some introductions! Give it up for Jacob back here on the Drums, Seth on the bass, the lovely Bella on Vocals, and I'm Jasper, your punctuality challenged guitarist!"

Edward suddenly froze up as Jasper began his introductions, and felt a sudden chill of anxiety down his spine. "Shit... shit... that can't be him. That doesn't make any sense. He's not supposed to be in Chicago, Nobody is supposed to be here." Edwards mind was racing, and he suddenly had goosebumps popping up all over his arms. He took a deep breath and tried to relax, convincing himself that he had to be wrong, that it couldn't be the same Jasper. It was just a coincidence. A huge fucking coincidence that he would probably laugh about later.

Then he saw Rosalie off to the side, singing along while she danced, and completely panicked. He needed to get away from that back yard, away from Rosalie and Jasper, and He needed to find a way to make sure neither of them ever came here again. He ran for the house, and upstairs to his bed room. He quickly locked the door, shut the windows, and turned on some Daft Punk with the volume blasted. Lying on his bed he closed his eyes and tried not to think about what was happening outside. He couldn't shut of his brain though, and the worst case scenario's kept getting worse and worse.

Finally, he managed to stop shaking long enough to pack a bong, and once he stopped coughing, he finally managed to relax. He grabbed a sketch book and starting randomly doodling, hoping Emmet would be able to handle the party on his own. He had seen their neighbors Esme and Carlisle, and knew they would help with crowd control if things got out of hand.

Felon Loves set was a huge success, with the band playing better than they had in months. Once they had finished taking down their equipment and loading it in the back of Bella's truck, Jasper finally had a chance to relax and drink a few beers. Emmet eventually came by, congratulating them on an amazing set.

"Felon Love!" he called out as he stumbled across the lawn toward them "You guys rock! Great set guys! You have to play here again sometime."

"Thanks for having us man!" Jake said, passing a joint in Emmets direction. "We'd love to play here again. Its a great spot."

"Yeah man," Jasper agreed. "You must have some amazing neighbors to be allowed to do this all the time."

"We do." Emmet said with a grin. "Of course it helps that half our neighbors end up over here most of the time. I got drunks to take care of, but I'll be in touch soon!"

Jasper finished his beer, and stood up to go.

"I gotta get out of here guys," he said, sounding dissapointed. "I have to work tomorrow, and James seems pretty serious about firing me if I'm late again. Fucking asshole. I think I have to work with that bitch Victoria tomorrow too."

"Alright man" Seth said, waving goodbye, "Have a good night".

Jasper started heading toward the gate when Alice jumped up and ran after him.

"Hey! Jazz! Don't forget your clothes! They're still in that bedroom you changed in earlier.

"Shit, Thanks Al." Jasper said as he turned toward the house.

Jasper got to the house and found the room he had changed in, but the door was shut, and he heard music playing loudly. "Fuck" Jazz wispered to himself. "thats the only work shirt I have." He started to knock, hoping someone would hear him inside. After knocking several times, and yelling to the mystery stranger to please open the door, he reluctantly tried the door knob. It was locked. He was starting to knock again when Emmet came up the stairs behind him.

"What do you want Dude?" Emmet asked, confused to find Jasper outside his brothers door. Edward was usually very selective about who he allowed in there.

"I uh, I had to find someplace to change earlier, and there were people in the bathrooms, so I uh, changed in there. I need to get my work clothes back." Jasper explained nervously. He couldn't explain why, he had sensed a strange nervous energy when he got to the door, and was suddenly very uncomfortable.

"Oh, ok." Emmet said with a shrug. "I'll try to get in there for you."

Jasper stepped aside so Emmet could get close to the door.

"Edward! Open up a sec." He yelled, as he banged the side of his fist against the door. "Edward!"

After a couple seconds the music stopped.

"What do you want?" Edward yelled back

"This guy left his clothes in there and needs to get them back! Can you just open up for a sec?"

After another brief pause, Jasper heard the click of the lock, and a cloud of pot smoke escaped as the door opened.

"Hurry up and grab your shit!" Edward growled.

Nervously, Jasper stepped into the room and glanced around for his shirt and pants.

The nervous energy Jasper had felt before, had quickly been replaced by fear. Quickly finding his clothes, Jasper grabbed them and ducked back out into the hall way. Glancing back over his shoulder he noticed that this kid Edward had gone pale, and was staring at him. As he started back down the stairs, he heard Edward call to Emmet and paused to listen out of curiosity. What the hell had happened to that kid to make him freak out like that?

"Emmet, you need to help me and make sure that kid never comes here again. Promise me."


	3. Chapter 3

Edward stayed locked in his room for the next 2 days, only occasionally slipping out for food and to use the bathroom. No matter what he did to try to calm down and continue on with his life, he couldn't do it. The world outside, as he had learned, was full of assholes who would never understand him, and he couldn't deal with the hate and discrimination that had been shoved in his face ever again. His room, bong, and sketchbook however, were safe.

"Edward?" Emmet called quietly from the hallway, "Come on man, you can't stay in there for the rest of your life. I ordered pizza. Come out and eat with me."

"Not hungry." Edward told his brother, from behind the closed door.

"Bullshit. I know you haven't eaten a real meal in days. Get out here. Just us. I promise" Emmet walked away from his brothers door, hoping he would come out and join him.

A few minutes later, Edward came down the stairs. It was obvious that he had been wearing the same pajama pants and t-shirt for days, and his hair was sticking up even more than usual. He was actually hungry though, and the pizza did smell good.

Emmet was sitting on the couch, with the pizza box open on the coffee table in front of him, 3 slices already missing.

"I knew pizza would get out of there." he said with a grin.

Without saying a word, Edward sat down and began to slowly eat a slice. He hadn't realized how hungry he was till he started eating, but he wasn't about to prove Emmet right by stuffing his face.

"So, you going to tell me what happened the other night, or do I get to dine with a mute tonight?" Emmet asked.

"Nothing happened really, but it was them, I'm positive."

Suddenly Emmet realized what his brother was talking about, remembering in detail everything that had happened 4 years before. While it didn't seem logical, he could understand why his brother had freaked out and secluded himself again.

"People change though, so what if it really was them. They probably don't even recognize you anymore, especially with the new name. Remember when Angela came to visit us, and tried to hit on you because she didn't realize you were her cousin?"

"Maybe, but I still can't handle seeing them though."

"I talked to Esme today. She's playing down at Cafe Jumping Bean tonight. You should go, keep Carlisle company. I know they have been worried about you." Emmet suggested. "I would go, but I have a meeting with the guys from Bromance tonight. I'm so close to closing a recording contract with them."

Edward was happy to hear about the meeting, knowing it would mean work for him too. It would mean something to keep his mind occupied for a while. In addition to hosting shows at their house, Edward and Emmet also ran an independent music label. Emmet handled the business end, finding bands and booking tours, while Edward handled the art and promotional side, designing posters, cd cases and merchandise. The backyard shows were mostly for fun, but it gave them the opportunity to check out new bands in the area, and get an idea of what the kids liked.

Edward finished a second slice, staring into the pizza box as he chewed. Emmet was right. They probably wouldn't recognize him anymore, and Carlisle would understand if he had to leave the cafe suddenly. Carlisle was one of the few people in Chicago who knew about Edwards past as Elizabeth, and was always very supportive of him.

"Fine." Edward said with a sigh, tossing the crust into the box. "I'll go. It's not like Rosalie and Jasper would be there anyway."

Jasper stood in the kitchen at work, trying to find something to do for his last 10 minutes. It had been a slow day, and he had gotten everything done early.

"Jasper! Get out here!" Victoria yelled to him from the front.

"Great" he mumbled to himself. What does this bitch want now?

He was relieved to find Alice and Bella standing at the counter waiting for him.

"Jasper! You have to come out with us tonight!" Alice told him, "Lauren's playing at the Jumping Bean tonight. They had a last minute spot to fill and called her about an hour ago."

"Uh, sure. I'll be out of here in about 10 minutes. Meet me out front? He asked. The acoustic folk music that was normally playing at the cafe wasn't really his thing, but he honestly had nothing else to do.

20 minutes later, they were tiptoeing into the cafe to try to find a seat. The place was pretty crowded for a Tuesday night, and the first singer had already started her set. After scanning the room, Bella spotted a small table in the corner.

"Go grab that table Jazz, we'll get drinks." Bella decided.

Jasper nodded, and made his way through the tables to the corner. Normally he would walk around first to see who he knew there, but he figured there was no point tonight, and went straight for the table. A few minutes later Alice and Bella returned with a round of beers and sat down.

"We saw Lauren over by the bar. She's up next." Alice told him.

"Cool." Jasper said, after taking a sip. "Looks like our timing was perfect then." he hoped they would be leaving after Lauren finished her set.

They sat in silence, listening to the first singer. They later learned that her name was Esme, and Jasper was surprised to find that he enjoyed her set.

"Hey, look!" Bella said, pointing to someone a couple tables away, "Isn't that Edward? That weird quiet guy from the show Saturday?"

Jasper glanced over, and suddenly felt nauseus. Bella was right. It was Edward. He didn't say a word, trying to get Edward's voice out of his head. "Make sure that kid never comes here again". Jasper blocked out Bella and Alice's conversation, trying once again to make sense of what had happened.

It had been bothering him for days as he tried to understand the weird feelings of nervousness, and eventually fear, he had felt that night. He usually had a pretty good sense of peoples emotions, but never so strongly. Other than deciding that Edward looked vaugely familiar, he had no idea where they might have met, or what Jasper might have done to him. He figured he could have been a hook up from a party or something, but Jasper was positive he would have remembered someone that hot.

The cheering and applause as Esme left the stage Snapped Jasper back into reality, and he realized that Alice had been giving him a weird look.

"Dude! You okay?" She asked "You've been staring at the table without moving for the past 5 minutes."

"I uh, Yeah... fine." He stuttered, unaware that he had been spacing out for so long. "Just trying to figure out something weird that happened the other night."

He tried to forget about Edward, and listened to Lauren play. It was hard to listen from the corner though, especially since the bathroom was right next to their table and people were constantly going in and out. No wonder this table had been empty.

Seemingly out of no where, the same intense nervous energy that Jasper had felt on Friday night returned, and Jasper found himself unable to sit still. He stood up, excusing himself for a cigarette, and found himself face to face with Edward. Just like before, the nervous tension he felt shifted abruptly to fear.

Edward shoved through the crowded cafe, and ran for the door. He had to get out of there, now, before anyone saw his face and the tears threatening to run down his face. "This isn't happening" he repeated to himslef, trying to take a deep breath and calm down. Without even thinking, he ran around the corner, where he found a dumpster to duck down and hide behind. He slid down the wall into a sitting position, and tried again to breath and calm down. Finally after a few minutes, he figured he was ready to tell Carlisle and Esme he was leaving, grab his jacket, and return to the safety of his bedroom. imagined every step of what he had to do, took a deep breath, and walked out of the ally.

As soon as he rounded the corner however, the panic returned. Jasper was standing in the way of his path, smoking a cigarette as he leaned against the wall. He froze up again, and found himself staring at Jasper, unable to move. Before he had a chance to return to his hiding spot however, Jasper spotted him.

"Hey, Edward right?" Jasper called to him "How you doing man?"

"What do you want?" Edward responded, his voice cracking nervously.

"Huh? Just wanted to say hi. Never got a chance to introduce myself the other night. I'm Jasper."

"Oh, um, Hi. I know who you are..." Edward trailed off, staring at the sidewalk. How had he ended up in this situation? How was he going to get away now?

"You okay? You look kind of pale."

"Yeah, fine. I gotta go." Edward said quickly, starting to walk past Jasper to go back into the cafe.

"Wait." Jasper said, reaching out to gently touch Edwards arm. "Can I ask you something first?"

Edward jerked his arm away, taking a step back. Something about Jasper was calming though, and he found himself starting to relax a little bit. "maybe I am over reacting. He does seem to be a good guy now". He thought to himself.

"Okay, what do you want to know?" he asked hesitantly.

"I'm sorry about whatever happened to you, but I just want to understand what I did. Everytime I've seen you, you've panicked, and run away." Jasper started, watching Edwards reaction carefully. "As far as I can remember, I've never met you before."

Edward just looked at the sidewalk, thinking carefully about how to respond. He was usually pretty good at knowing when people were lying, and Jasper seemed to be telling the truth. He really didn't recognize him.

"Um, its hard to talk about really. You just look like someone I used to know. I'm sorry."

"I understand not wanting to share with a stranger. Sorry about whatever happened."

"Um thanks, I must seem pretty crazy right now."

"Haha, nah." Jasper replied with a grin. "You just seem like someone who has had a rough life".

Yeah, rough doesn't come close to describing it, no thanks to Jasper here, thought Edward. Maybe he wasn't really all bad though. At least Edward had managed to calm down though, and he was surprised how much talking to Jasper really helped. He would of course have to admit that Emmet had been right, again.

"Sorry if I come across as being to forward, but what are you doing tomorrow night?" Jasper asked.

"Tomorrow, um, I'm not sure..." Edward replied hesitantly. What the hell? Is he asking me on a date?

"My roommate Alice has a gallery opening and I was wondering If you would want to come with me? I noticed the drawings in your room and figured you would like her work."

"Oh, maybe."

"You don't have to decide now. Emmet has my number. Call me tomorrow if you want." Jasper was smiling again, and Edward found himself feeling more and more comfortable around him. Maybe Jasper was worth a second chance.

"Okay, I'll talk to you tomorrow then." Edward finally said sounding more confident.

**Thanks for reading everyone! Please please please comment and let me know if you like the story so far. I know there havn't been many lemons, but they are comming, I promise. Maybe something kinky could happen in the gallery?**


	4. Chapter 4

"Alice, what the hell was I thinking last night?" Jasper asked. "Did I really ask Edward out on a date?"

"I dunno man. Do you want it to be a date?" Alice asked him.

"I don't know. I got this really odd vibe from him. There's something a little weird about him, but not in a turn off way. I can't figure out what it is though."

"Jazz, you're always getting vibes from people. I swear you have some kind of super power sometimes." Alice reminded him.

"Whats his super power?" Lauren asked, coming in to the room with a giant cup of coffee.

"Mmm, I need coffee now. Smells good" Jasper announced, as he got off the couch and headed toward the bar. "Fuck! If were going to let Jake work on his bike in here, he needs to stop leaving tools all over the floor."

"I know dude, I got attached by a wrench this morning too." Alice called to him. "Now hurry up and get back in here! We need to talk about this boy!"

"So. Jasper." Alice demanded as soon as Jasper sat back down with his coffee, "Tell us whats so intriguing about this Edward."

"Other than the fact that he's gorgeous anyway." Lauren added. "If you don't end up dating him, maybe I'll try. I mean, you don't know for sure that he's gay anyway."

"I don't know what it is exactly" Jasper tried to explain "But its like theres some weird connection already. I feel like I know him, but I'm almost positive we've never met. It's kind of weirding me out actually."

"Maybe you were lovers in a past life." Lauren suggested. "Your soul recognizes him."

"Past life Lauren?" Alice asked, trying not to laugh. "What kind of Hippy shit are you reading now?"

"It's real Alice." Lauren said, getting defensive.

"It doesn't matter what it is!" Jasper interrupted. "We need to be trying to figure out if this is a date or not."

Before they had a chance to continue the conversation however, Jaspers pants started vibrating. Or rather the phone is his pocket did.

"Shit! I think thats him." Jasper said, suddenly nervous as he looked at the 773 number showing up on his phone, and ran downstairs to his room.

Emmet woke up around noon, and was surprised to smell coffee. That usually meant Edward was already up, but it had been a while since Edward had even left his room. Carlisle must have said something right last night. He came down stairs and found Edward sitting on the couch, working at his laptop.

"Good morning?" Emmet asked, unsure what to expect from his brother. "Did you have a good time last night?"

"Yep. I did surprisingly." Edward replied, sounding happier than he had in months."And don't worry about Jasper and Rosalie. I think you were right."

"You on drugs or something?" Emmet asked, staring, "Yesterday you were hyperventilating at the THOUGHT of seeing them, and now all of a sudden they're cool?"

"Yeah, I was totally over reacting." Edward explained casually. "I talked to him last night. I wonder if he's up yet. I need to call him and figure out what the plan for tonight is."

Emmet continued to stare as Edward stood up, and closed his laptop, draining his coffee simultaneously.

"Wheres your phone dude? Jasper said you had his number."

Emmet was so surprised by what was going on that he could barely respond

"It... uh... should be..."

"Found it." Edward announced, grabbing the phone off the charger on the counter, and began flipping through Emmets contacts, and then entered Jaspers number to his own phone.

"Thanks Bro!" Edward called over his shoulder as he ran up the stairs.

"What the fuck happened to him?" Emmet said to himself, as he watched his brother disappear to his room. It was great to see him happy again, but this was just weird, and it made him a little worried. Especially with Jasper back in the picture. He had to meet up with a band at the studio to start recording though, and didn't have time to figure out what the hell had happened to cause Edwards drastic mood change. He would have to remember to stop by Carlisle and Esme's later, and see if they had any idea's.

Emmet got back home around 6 to find Edward pacing around the kitchen, with a joint one hand and a beer in the other.

"Dude! I need your opinion on this shirt. It doesn't make me look too girly does it?" Edward asked him anxiously.

Emmet tried not to laugh as he looked at Edwards outfit. His shirt had thin black and grey vertical stripes, with every 5th one being pink, with a pair of black skinny jeans and his old beat up chucks.

"Nah, maybe a little gay, but definitely not girly. Boobs made you look girly."

"Fuck you man!" Edward yelled at him, getting defensive.

"Sorry, man. I guess it's not a good night for jokes." Emmet apologized. Some days Edward would have joined in joked about himself, and others, joking about Edwards female history could start a fight. "Seriously, you look good. Guys are allowed to wear pink you know."

Edward got quiet and became very interested in reading the label on his beer bottle, before chugging the end of it and tossing the empty bottle in the recycling bin.

"I don't know if this is such a good idea anymore." he admitted.

"So your really hanging out with Jasper? How did that happen anyway?" Emmet asked, prying for details about the night before.

"I'm still not sure exactly. I ran into him at the cafe last night, and totally freaked. I fucking ran away and hid behind a dumpster. It was pathetic."

"You hid behind a dumpster? Seriously?" Emmet was struggling to keep a straight face, and the joint Edward had passed him wasn't helping any.

"I did, laugh all you want. But then when I finally calmed down enough to go back and grab my shit to leave, he was standing outside the door smoking a cigarette. He stopped me and wanted to talk, saying he didn't understand what he did when he had never met me before."

Emmet grinned at his brother. "Told you he wouldn't recognize you."

"Yeah, and you were right. Asshole. He seemed really honest about it, and for some reason talking to him actually calmed me down. I found my self agreeing to go to his roommates gallery opening tonight."

"Hmm.." Emmet replied, still not sure how he felt about the whole thing."You know I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, but be careful, okay?"

"I will. Thanks man."

Edward calmed down a little after talking to Emmet. He was all he had really. The only person who had really been there for him after he came out and told everyone he was planning on transitioning. Emmet had even moved to Chicago with him and helped him start over after the majority of his friends had ditched him. Their parents hadn't actually disowned him, but still refused to call him their son, and still referred to him as Elizabeth. Knowing now that Emmet didn't think it was a horrible plan, at least not horrible enough to say something, helped him make a final decision.

Looking at the clock, Edward realized he was going to be late, and ran out the door to meet up with Jasper and a few of his friends.

Jasper had gone to the gallery early to help Alice finish setting up her pieces, and found himself spacing out the whole time. He was excited that Edward had actually called and agreed to meet him at the opening, but he was kind of nervous about how the night would go. It had been less than 24 hours since Edward had panicked at the sight of him and run away, and he was still haunted by his voice saying to make sure he never came around again.

"Jasper! Come on dude!" Alice yelled to him impatiently. "Remember how you were going to get the last piece out of the van for me?"

"Oh right, Sorry" Jasper said, heading toward the loading dock.

"Stop worrying dude. He'll be here."

Less than an hour later, the gallery was starting to fill up, and the caterers were busy keeping the wine glasses and hors d'eourves plates filled. Alice and Jasper stood in the corner, watching people talk about her art.

"Lets sneak outside before someone finds me." Alice suggested. "You know I can't sell art on a clear head."

"Sounds good" Jasper agreed, grabbing her hand and leading her toward the van out back. "Would the lady prefer a joint or glass tonight?"

"Ummm, joint. And maybe we should make it two."

Edward found the gallery easier than he expected, but wasn't ready for the crowd of people inside. Suddenly his nerves returned, and he wasn't sure if he could handle Jasper and a crowd at the same time. He was ready to turn around and leave, when Bella and Seth spotted him through the window, and waved to him to come in. 'I guess theres no turning back now' he thought, and made his way into the gallery.

"Edward! You made it. Jasper was afraid you would bail." Bella told him. She seemed drunk already, and quickly disappeared after a waiter for another glass of wine.

Edward and Seth stood awkwardly for a moment, before Edward finally broke the silence.

"So where is Jasper anyway?"

"I'm not sure exactly. I think he and Alice went off to smoke a joint or something. She gets really nervous at these things." Seth explained. "He should be back any minute. Get your self a drink."

"Thanks man" Edward said, before walking away to find the bar. A drink definitely sounded like good idea to him.

He got a glass of wine, and began to look at Alice's pieces. They were all so intricate, and detailed. Mostly mixed media collages, consisting of fabric swatches and random objects, and a couple of sculptures. It all seemed pretty safe, until you looked closely and found the pages from a couple playboy magazines layered into the collages, and several dildo's among the doll parts and toy cars in her sculptures.

"I started off in fashion design, but I got kind of bored with it." A voice suddenly announced from behind him.

Edward turned around to find a tiny girl with spiky dark hair looking up at him.

"I'm Alice" She announced, putting out her hand. "Your Edward right?"

"Yeah, thats me." he said, shaking her hand. "I'm glad I came tonight."

"I told Jasper you would." she told him confidently. "He was afraid you would bail. You should go talk to him. He's over there."

Edward looked across the room to where Alice had pointed, and felt his heart begin to race. He started to wish Alice good luck, but she had already bounced off to talk to someone else. After taking a large swig of his wine, Edward made his way across the room to where Jasper was talking to Jacob. He had forgotten how hot Jasper was, and was sure he would be sporting a boner by now if it were physically possible.

Jasper spotted Edward coming toward him, and smiled at him, causing Edward to relax a little.

"Hey Edward, good to see you again." Jasper said, "Your not going to run away again I hope."

"No, not tonight" Edward responded, still a little nervous. "So how do you and Alice know each other?"

"We met about 4 years ago after I dropped out of college and moved back home" Jasper explained.  
"We just kind of clicked and started hanging out almost everyday. She decided randomly one day that she wanted to move out here, and I had no reason not to come with her."

"So you just moved and started over?" Edward asked.

"Pretty much. Some crazy shit went down with the guys I used to hang with in college, and I decided I didn't want anything to do with them anymore. Alice became my only real friend after that."

Edward smiled after hearing Jaspers story, and he was relieved to hear that Jasper had ditched his friends. They spent the next half hour or so walking through the Gallery, and chatting with Jaspers band mates, before Jasper noticed that Edward looked bored.

"Sorry, man. I didn't mean to leave you out of the loop there." Jasper apologized, "Hanging out with you seems so familiar I forgot you don't really know anyone here."

"Don't worry about it. I'm having a good time." Edward told him.

"Do you want to get out of here? My place is a few blocks away. We can go hang there and drink some beers if you want." Jasper suggested.

"Okay." Edward agreed, surprised to find himself actually wanting to go.

A few minutes later they had arrived at Jasper's place. It wasn't an apartment like Edward had expected, but a converted bar.

"Let me give you the tour." Jasper said, turning on the lights. Jasper led him around the large space, pointing out the different areas, including the old cooking hood, which now hovered above the 'Toxic fumes corner", the DJ booth, The door to Jacobs room in the back corner, Lauren and Alice Apartment off to the side, and off course the fully stocked bar. "My room is in the basement, but we don't have to go down there now."

Jasper went behind the bar to grab a couple beers, telling Edward to sit down and make himself comfortable. Edward sat, looking around the space. It was kind of a mess, with ashtrays and empty bottles spread around the room, mixed in with random tools, art supplies and musical instruments including Jacobs drum set in the corner. He also noticed a couple easels arranged among the makeshift computer desks.

Jasper went up to the DJ booth, Setting his laptop to play a random mix of punk and rock music, before coming to sit next to Edward. They talked for hours, occasionally just sitting quietly listening to a particular song, as they added to the collection of empty beer bottles in the room. Edward found himself censoring his responses, carefully avoiding any mention of college and the 2 years he had spent in Seattle. He figured he would have to tell Jasper the truth about who he was eventually, but tonight wasn't the right time.

As they talked, Edward and Jasper found them selves moving closer and closer to each other. By the time they finished the second bowl Jasper had packed, Edward found himself snuggling up to Jasper, and Jasper had wrapped his arm around Edwards shoulders. They had stopped talking, and were just sitting there now, enjoying each others presence.

"I can't believe I got lucky enough to have such a sexy man all to myself" Jasper finally said, looking down at Edward smiling.

"I was just thinking the same thing" Edward said, returning the smile.

Jasper shifted his arm to reach around Edwards waist, pulling him closer. Edward sat up a little turning his body to face Jasper, their faces now inches away. Edward paused for a second, staring into Jaspers eyes before leaning in closer to kiss him. Jasper gasped as Edwards lips met his, before pulling him closer and deepening the kiss. Eventually Edward shifted so he was straddling Jaspers lap, and began biting and sucking Jaspers neck and ear.

"Oh god, that feels so good." Jasper moaned, as Edwards tongue slowly circled his earlobe.

Slowly Jasper began to move toward the buttons on Edwards shirt. He was just starting to undo the third button down, when Edward suddenly tensed up and pulled away.

"I can't do this" Edward suddenly announced, and Jasper noticed the same feeling of fear starting to over come him.

A/N Hmmm, its starting to smell a bit lemony in here. How is Edward going to tell Jasper about his past, and what did Jasper do to him anyway? Comments will get more chapters. Actually Unemployment and too much time on my hands will get you more chapters, comments will just make me happy.


	5. Chapter 5

Edward got back to his house around 4:30 AM, and laid on his bed wide awake for another couple hours. Surprisingly, his racing mind had little to do with Jasper. Not directly anyway. He had over-thought everything, and had been unable to ignore the worst case scenario's that kept running through his imagination. What if Jasper had looked at his chest and saw his scars, or if he noticed that Edward didn't have an erection if they started grinding their hips together. He couldn't risk Jasper finding him out like that. He had to tell him though, but how?

He didn't even realize he had fallen asleep until he glanced over at the clock and saw that it was almost two in the afternoon.

"Fuck" he thought, "I have too much to do today to have slept this late."

He pulled on a pair of flannel pants, and headed downstairs with his laptop. Nothing was going to be accomplished before breakfast and several cups of coffee though.

He found Emmet already working at the dining room table, a pile of papers and CD's spread out in front of him.

"He's Alive!" Emmet announced when he saw Edward coming into the room. "I heard you come in late. Good Night?"

"Most of it was, until it wasn't" Edward told him."You probably don't want to hear the details though."

"Probably not." Emmet admitted. "He didn't hurt you though, did he?"

It often surprised people how open minded Emmet was. He may look like the stereotypical jock type, but unlike the stereotype, he had no problems with people being gay, or trans, or anything, although he was definitely straight. It was hard for him to be surprised by anything after seeing his sister change into a gay man, but Edward was right. He definitely did not need to hear details about his brothers sex life.

"No, he didn't hurt me at all." Edward admitted. "He was actually really sweet. We just drank beer and talked all night. It was kind of like how things used to be, before..." he trailed off in thought, staring at the floor.

"I know." Emmet told him "we don't need to talk about it again. But what did happen? You said it was good until it wasn't?"

"It was really nothing. Things got a little intimate and I freaked. Nothing he did. I promise." Edward explained.

Emmet just nodded, trying to understand what had probably run through his brothers head. Edward had adjusted well to his new life as a man, and after 3 years of testosterone injections and having his breasts removed, no one ever doubted him or second guessed his gender anymore. He still had a mental wall to work through, and that was something he had to do on his own. He really wanted to be in a relationship, and be having sex like any other gay man, but physically it just didn't work the same.

Silently, Edward made a fresh pot of coffee, and began to fry an egg for an egg and cheese sandwich. Emmet just left him alone, turning his attention back to the pile of work in front of him. Edward would talk more when he was ready, most likely once he had some caffeine in his system.

Jasper woke up around 1pm, feeling like he hadn't slept at all. Once again, thoughts of Edward had kept him awake. He turned on his light and sat on his bed, running through the events from the night before again, trying to figure out what he had done wrong this time. Eventually, he heard the roar of a motorcycle coming into the space upstairs, and decided to go talk to Jake, hoping Embry wasn't with him. He had no problem with Embry, but preferred to talk to Jake alone.

"Hey man!" Jasper called as he came through the basement door. "Whats up?"

"Not much" Jake replied "Embry had to go into work for a few hours, so I figured I'd come hang here today."

Technically, Jake was a rent paying resident in the space, but ever since he and Embry had gotten together he never slept there, preferring to stay at Embry's instead. He really only came by to work on his bikes and for band practice anymore.

"So what happened last night?" Jake asked "I saw you leave with that Cullen hottie."

"I don't even know. We were hanging here and everything was cool. We ended up making out after he made the first move, and then all of a sudden he just freaked." Jasper told him.

"What? Why?" Jake asked, sounding confused. "Did he explain?"

"Not really. Just pulled away all of a sudden and said he couldn't do this." Jasper explained "I seriously have no fucking idea what happened. Dude's got some issues or something."

"Thats crazy. And he just left?"

"Pretty much. I tried to talk him into crashing on the couch, saying I would go down to my room and leave him alone, but he refused." Jasper told him. "He just left without saying much."

"Maybe he's not actually gay." Jake suggested. "Wouldn't be the first time you tried to get with a straight boy."

"Maybe." Jasper said, not sounding convinced. "It is the only idea so far that makes any sense."

Jasper and Jake were hanging out in the studio, messing around with some ideas for new songs when Bella showed up.

"Hey guys!" she called to them, as she came into the room and sat down. "I was hoping you would be here."

"Here we are" Jake told her, "Whats up?"

"Emmet called me about an hour ago, you know the guy with the back yard shows?" Bella started. "They had a band cancel for tomorrow night and want us to play again."

Jake looked over at Jasper without saying a word, checking his reaction before responding.

"I'm down for that" Jake told her "I can't decide for every one though."

"Me too." Jasper added "I heard they are looking to sign a new band, this could be our chance."

"You sure man?" Jake asked him "I mean there are other places to play..."

"I'm sure." Jasper said quickly "I'm not going to let one night ruin everything."

"Alright then" Bella said. "I texted Seth already and he's down too. You guys free to practice later? Seth gets off work at 4."

"Works for me" Jasper said "We should try to play that new song tomorrow"

"Good idea" Jake agreed. "I'll be here."

"Cool." Bella said. "I'm going to hang with Alice and Lauren, and I'll let Emmet know were in. See you later."

"Well, I guess this means I'm going to have to talk to Edward tomorrow." Jasper said, half to himself, as Bella dissapeared into Alice and Lauren's Apartment.

Edward closed his laptop and flopped backwards onto the couch. He had been working on designing a poster for a record release party, and needed a break from it. Staring at the screen had caused him to lose perspective, and he couldn't even decide if the changes he kept making were even working anymore. It didn't help that his mind had kept drifting.

"I need to tell him Em." he announced randomly.

Emmet looked up from his computer where he had been setting up tour dates for Disrobe.

"You sure thats really a good idea?" Emmet asked.

"Yeah. I really have this feeling that things will work out differently this time." Edward told him. "He didn't really give any details, but he mentioned that something happened in Seattle and he left the school and ditched all his friends after. I have a feeling he was talking about me."

"Huh." Emmet said, processing what Edward had told him. "Well, I guess that would change things if your right."

"I know it would." Edward said "I need to tell him everything, and find out for sure. He keeps mentioning that he feels like he already knows me, and I have a feeling he'll figure it out on his own if we keep hanging out."

Emmet just nodded, surprised to find himself agreeing with Edward. It showed how much Emmet had changed over the years too, considering he probably would have wanted to rip Jaspers head off if he had shown up a few years earlier.

"Do you want me to be there with you? We can talk to him tomorrow night at the show if you want." Emmet suggested, knowing Carlisle would take over for a while so they could talk.

"No, I need to do this on my own I think." Edward told him, "Thanks though."

After making his decision, Edward was able to concentrate on the poster he was designing, and quickly finished it and sent the PDF off to the print shop. After taking a shower, and flipping through the channels on the TV for a while, he found himself growing restless again. He found his shoes, and headed out the door, yelling to Emmet that he was going for a run.

He put on his headphones, and took off down the street without a route in mind. He just ran without thinking much, randomly zig zagging through the Pilsen neighborhood. He came around a corner, deciding to start heading back toward home, when he suddenly realized where he had ended up. He stopped abruptly, just staring at the red metal gate across the street. Jaspers place.

He started to turn around before changing his mind and heading across the street instead.

"Now or never" he told himself as he stopped at the gate and took out his headphones.

He knocked a few times, but realized no one would hear him over the band playing inside. Realizing he would be interrupting practice, he started to leave again when the door opened. He looked up surprised to find Alice standing in the doorway.

"Come on in Edward." She told him. "They will be done practicing in a few minutes."

"How did you..." Edward started to ask.

"Know you were there?" she finished. "I heard you knocking. I had a feeling you would show up eventually though."

Still shocked, Edward followed Alice into the studio, and sat at the empty bar stool she had pointed to. Edward, Alice and Lauren sat at the bar listening as Felon Love played their newest song two more times. It was too loud to attempt a conversation, and Edward was too preoccupied watching Jasper play his guitar anyway.

As soon as they were done, Jasper came over to the bar smiling.

"You came back." Jasper said, grinning at Edward.

"Yeah..." Edward said, getting nervous again. "Sorry about last night. Can we talk? Somewhere private?"

"Of course." Jasper told him. "Just give me a minute to put everything away. Don't run away on me again, okay?"

"Okay" Edward said. He stayed sitting on the stool, watching as Jasper put his guitar back in its case, and pushed his amp up against the wall. After talking to his band mates again, finalizing times and everything for the following night, he came back over to Edward.

"We can go down to my room, if thats okay with you." Jasper told him.

"That sounds fine" Edward told him.

Edward followed Jasper down the stairs, and to a low door in the corner.

"Watch your head" Jasper warned as he ducked through the door frame. "The ceiling is a little funky in here."

Edward followed him through, looking around the room. Jasper wasn't kidding about the ceiling. The room was a weird shape, with exposed beams in the ceiling and a large pipe running through the room diagonally. One corner had a tiny kitchen, and there was a small bathroom on the other side. Other than a futon and a dresser, there wasn't much else in there.

"Welcome to the Hobbit hole" Jasper announced. "It's not much, but I spend most of my time upstairs anyway so it works."

He led Edward over to the futon, and told Edward to sit down next to him.

"So..." Jasper started, "What did you want to talk about?"

**A/N... Thats right. I'm leaving you with a cliff hanger. I'm anxious to write the next chapter, so I probably wont keep you waiting long. Maybe you could write a review while your waiting.**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N- Warning**. **This chapter contains violence and abuse. If your not comfortable with it, don't read.**

**Update: I got so into chapter 8, That I screwed up my own story line. Parts of this are rewritten to go go along better with the new update, cause this one was easier to fix... sorry about that.**

"So..." Jasper started, "What did you want to talk about?"

Edward took a deep breath, and looked at Jasper. Jasper seemed relaxed, calmly waiting for whatever Edward wanted to tell him.

"Well, I uh..." Edward stuttered nervously "I don't really know where to start."

Jasper felt the nervous tension start to rise again, and reached out to gently touch Edwards hand, relieved that he didn't pull away.

"That important huh?" Jasper joked, trying to ease the tension.

"Yeah, kind of a deal breaker for a lot of guys." Edward told him, looking down again.

"I have an idea." Jasper told him "Why don't we smoke a bowl first, relax a little before we have this conversation."

"I think that would help" Edward admitted, grinning slightly.

Edward watched quietly as Jasper stood and got a small glass pipe and a jar out of his dresser drawer. He sat back down, and began filling the pipe with weed before passing it to Edward along with a lighter.

"You can have greens." He said as Edward took the pipe from him.

They didn't talk as they passed the pipe back and forth, and Edward did his best to gather his thoughts and decide where to start.

"Promise me you won't freak out?" Edward asked.

"Promise" Jasper told him. "Besides, I'm pretty sure thats your area anyway."

"Okay, well you already know part of the story, but I'll get to that later." Edward began.

Jasper was immediately confused, but nodded anyway.

"I guess I'll just get it over with." Edward decided. "My name wasn't always Edward. I was born a girl, named Elizabeth."

Edward paused, looking up at Jasper.

"Is that all?" He asked, "Because that's really not a big deal to me."

"No, its not all... but really? You don't care that I'm not a real guy?" he asked, holding up his fingers to make air quotes when he said 'real guy'.

"Not a real guy according to who? The rest of society?" Jasper asked "This country is full of idiots anyway"

Edward grinned. So far this had gone a thousand times better than he had expected. That was the easy part so far though.

"Yeah, thats true I guess." Edward agreed "There's more I have to tell you though."

"Okay, I'm listening" Jasper told him.

"You know how you said I looked really familiar, and you felt like you already knew me from somewhere?" Edward asked

"Yes" Jasper told him, encouraging him to continue.

"Well, It's because you do. Or rather you did." Edward told him. "I went to the Cornish College for 2 years in the design program."

"When I was in the Music Program..." Jasper finished. He stared at Edward, trying to remember him.

"You would remember me as Liz" Edward told him "Or maybe Lizzie, even though I hated that name."

Suddenly Jasper remembered, and immediately felt guilty. He suddenly understood why Edward had freaked out and ran away, and really couldn't blame him for it.

"Oh my god... Lizzie. I'm so fucking sorry for what happened" Jasper said, taking Edward's hand in his. "I mean Edward... Edward. I have felt so horrible about what they did to you for years."

"What they did?" Edward asked, pulling away "Don't you mean what you and your fucking sister Rosalie did?"

"Edward, listen." Jasper tried to explain "I didn't know what they were planning"

"Bullshit!" Edward yelled, interrupting him "How could you not have known? Your the one that got me there in the first place! You knew I didn't want to hang with your fucking friends, but some how you convinced me to go anyway."

"They lied to me" Jasper told him, trying again to get Edward to listen.

"You told me we were going to a party at the beach, and it was some secret location we all had to follow to, but then we pulled over, you knew about the plan. Once you were conveniently out of the way, Alec and his gang appeared out of nowhere, dragging me out of the car." Edward continued. "All of them yelling, calling me a fucking freak and hitting me! And then you! I saw you running over to join in before they hit me on the head and I was unconcious. I thought you were my friend."

"Edward, please, calm down." Jasper tried again "Can you please let me explain?"

Edward stopped talking, nodding for Jasper to tell his side.

"I honestly did not know they were planning anything like that. They told me there was a party also, and I invited you because I really did want to hang out with you." Jasper explained, trying to keep his voice calm. He also remembered that night clearly, and the memories were making him just as upset as Edward had become.

"I was running over to pull them off of you. I was too late though, you were already unconscious when I got over to you." Jasper's voice started to tremble, and he took a deep breath before continuing. "They turned on me, knocking me out from behind, Rosalie said she was screaming at them to stop, that they were calling me a queer and freak lover while they kicked me. The same way they continued to beat you until they got scared and ran off. They saw blood and realized how serious it had all gotten."

Edward looked up at Jasper, tears starting to form in the corners of his eyes.

"They beat you too?" Edward asked

Jasper nodded, looking like he was going to start to cry also.

"Yeah. Rosalie probably saved both of our lives." Jasper told him. "One of the guys stayed back and helped get us into the car, after Jane and Alec took off with their gang of assholes, and she drove us to the hospital. He must have felt guilty or something, but he ran off pretty quick too"

"But why didn't I see you again after that?" Edward asked.

"Because the doctors were obeying your wishes. Apparently you were adamant about not wanting any visitors, and your parents had you moved back to Forks before we had a chance to clear everything up. I tried to track you down a few months later, but your parents wouldn't tell me anything."

"Oh yeah, I remember that now." Edward said looking down again. "I guess I should apologize too."

"Its okay." Jasper told him. "You didn't know. Come here"

Jasper took Edwards hand, gently pulling him closer. Reluctantly, Edward agreed and moved to rest his head on Jaspers chest, as Jasper wrapped his arm around his shoulders.

"I'm sorry" Edward said quietly into Jaspers chest.

"Everything is okay now, I promise." Jasper told him, leaning down to kiss his forehead.

"And you really don't care that I'm..." Edward started to ask.

Before he could finish though, Jasper leaned down again, this time kissing his lips.

"Does that answer your question?" Jasper asked.

Edward sat up, and crawled across Jaspers lap to straddle him as he had the night before, and pulled him closer for another kiss. Jasper moaned, opening his mouth slightly and slipping his tongue between Edwards lips. Edward felt his entire body relax as they kissed, and didn't resist when he felt Jaspers hand slip under his t-shirt. After allowing Jasper to run his hand across his chest, he sat up a little and lifted his arms so that Jasper could pull off his shirt.

Jasper felt Edward tense a bit as soon as his chest was exposed, and suddenly realized what he had done to make Edward pull away before. He reached around and began running his hands down his back, and leaned in again to kiss Edwards neck, feeling him relax again. He kissed along Edwards neck and had begun sucking on his earlobe, when they heard someone coming down the stairs.

"Hey Jazz!" Jake yelled, "Were going out for pizza. Do you guys want to come or are you too busy fucking?"

As if on cue, Edwards stomach began to growl. Jasper laughed, realizing he was hungry also.

"We'll come." Jasper yelled back. "We'll be up in a minute."

"And we." Jasper said, quietly to Edward, "Can come back to this later."

Edward climbed off Jaspers lap, and started to put his shirt back on before he paused. He remembered that he had ran there, and didn't have his wallet with him, or clothes that weren't all sweaty.

"I'm going to need to run home first" Edward said "I don't have my wallet, and I'm not wearing this to dinner."

"No you don't" Jasper told him. "I'm sure I have something you can borrow, and you can pay for dinner next time."

They finally came up the stairs about 10 minutes later to find everyone waiting for them. Alice was grinning when she saw Edwards outfit.

"Already sharing clothes?" Alice asked "That didn't take long"

"Shut up Alice" Jasper snapped, "Lets go. I'm starving.

"Haha, worked up an appetite huh?" Jake said. "I knew you two were fucking!"

Jasper just turned and glared at Jake, before taking Edwards hand and leading him out the door

e...


	7. Chapter 7

Second time around Chapter 7

"I'm so full. 5 slices is definitely too much pizza." Jasper announced, throwing the crust down onto his plate.

"Only 5 dude?" Jake asked, reaching for another slice. "Slice 7, going in."

"That's kind of disgusting Jake. Of course I don't know why I'm still surprised by your eating habits" Bella commented, pushing her plate away.

"Any one up for a beer?" Jasper asked. "We haven't been to Skylark in a while, and Lauren has been bugging us to go hear her DJ."

"Sounds good to me." Edward agreed.

After waiting for Jake and Embry to finish eating, they all started walking down 18th street to the bar.

Jasper paused a few yards up the sidewalk to light a cigarette.

"Can I bum one of those?" Edward asked, stopping next to him.

"Only if I can butt fuck you." Jasper said grinning, as he held the lit end of his cigarette to Edwards to light it.

"Haha, I forgot how much you like saying that to people. I thought you meant... uh, never mind." Edward told him, blushing a little.

"And I forgot how much it makes you blush every time"

"Quit flirting and lets go guys! Its cold out here!" Alice called to them.

The bar was still pretty empty when they walked in, and Edward was kind of relived. He had spent so much time keeping to himself that crowds still made him nervous.

After getting beers from the bar, they all settled into one of the big booths in the corner.

"So Edward, Whats your story?" Alice asked.

"My story? I don't know. What do you want to know about? Edward asked, unsure where this conversation was going.

"Where are you from? Family? Hobbies? I really haven't heard anything about you." Alice replied.

"I grew up in Forks, Washington, moved out here with my brother Emmet about 3 years ago, and don't really talk to my parents anymore. You already know about the record label."

Alice sat looking at him for a minute, "You're a pretty private guy." She finally stated. "You'll open up eventually and we'll be great friends someday. I can tell."

"You'll get used to her eventually, Edward" Jake told him, "She tends to get into everyones business"

"I do not!" Alice shrieked at him.

"You do, Alice" Embry told her. "We still love you though."

They had been sitting at the bar talking for a couple hours when Jasper leaned in and rested his head on Edwards Shoulder.

"We have some things to finish" He whispered. "Let's go find a cab and head back to the hobbit hole."

"That sounds like a great idea" Edward whispered back, before picking up his beer and draining the last couple sips. "Let's go."

"We're staying out for a while longer" Alice announced, before Edward and Jasper had a chance to ask if anyone else wanted to take the cab back with them.

"Thanks Alice, but you really need to work on your subtlety." Jasper told her as he slid out of the booth.

About 10 minutes later, they were back in Jaspers room, and Edward was suddenly nervous again.

"I'm thinking I should just head home" he said, still standing in the doorway. "I have to help Emmet get ready for.."

"Shut up and kiss me fool" Jasper interrupted.

"We really have a lot to.."

Jasper's mouth was covering Edward's before he had a chance to finish his sentence, and Edward found himself being gently pulled towards the futon.

"Pipe. Duck." Jasper reminded him, briefly breaking the kiss.

Before they reached the futon, Edward pulled away.

"Jazz, stop."

"Relax Edward" Jasper told him calmly. "You're in charge. We don't have to do anything you don't want to do"

Edward sat on the bed, leaning back against the wall, staring at his feet. Jasper sat down next to him.

"Are you going to run away again?" Jasper asked.

"No. It's just... this is all kind of new for me."

"It's new for me too." Jasper told him. "Well some of it is anyway."

"Don't bullshit me Jazz, I know I'm not the first guy you've had down here."

"No, but you are the first guy I cared about this much. The rest didn't mean anything."

"Thats sweet, but thats not really what I meant." Edward told him, still not looking up. "All of this is new for me."

Jasper layed back on the bed, motioning to Edward to come lay next to him.

"Come lay down with me" Jasper pleaded. "I promise, we don't have to do anything you don't want to do."

Reluctantly, Edward layed down next to Jasper, resting his head on his shoulder.

"Can I kiss you again?" Jasper asked.

"Yes, I like that idea." Edward told him, leaning up to kiss him first.

Slowly, Jasper shifted so that he was straddling Edward this time, and began kissing his neck.

"My shirt looks sexy on you, but its kind of in the way right now babe" Jasper whispered, slowly reaching down to pull Edwards shirt off. "Help me out?"

"Take yours off first" Edward told him, grinning.

"You're the boss" Jasper said, as he pulled his t-shirt off over his head, and turned off the light before tossing it onto the floor.

"Your turn." he said, reaching down again to pull off Edwards shirt.

Edward sat up slightly, allowing Jasper to pull of his shirt before pulling him back down on top of him, and kissing him again.

"Stay here tonight." Jasper said quietly. "We can go back to your place and set up in the morning"

"I was hoping you would suggest that, because leaving your arms right now would be horrible." Edward told him.

"I agree" Jasper replied, moving to rest his head on Edwards chest. "I could get used to sleeping here."


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N- Sorry to go so long without any updates. I really didn't expect to go over a year and a half without writing more. But I got a job, and life got crazy. Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed before, all your great comments meant so much to me. This story has some pretty personal connections for me, so I was really worried about the reaction to it. Well, finally, Chapter 8, and I suddenly have lots of new ideas to keep writing this story again. The next chapter is already 1/2 done.**

Jasper found himself lying awake in the middle of the night, listening to Edwards slow breathing. He slowly shifted, pulling Edward closer to him and twisting to rest his head on his chest. "I'm so sorry" he whispered, staring across the room at the glowing green light from a light switch. He found him self remembering that night and the events that had led up to it, almost 4 years ago, when he thought he had lost his best friend.

_"Theres just something about Lizzy I can't figure out" Jasper thought, suddenly finding himself back in his college dorm room. "I know I like guys, and its not like I've never experimented with girls before. I know I dont like them the same ways as guys. So why do I keep thinking of her as more than just a friend?"_

L_izzy was always super quiet, working on her computer with headphones on, or hiding out in the art studio building working on paintings or crazy sculpures till the early hours of the morning. Jasper had his freshman mandatory English class with her, and had found himself strangely attracted from the first time he saw her. It had taken most of the sememster, but eventually he got her to talk, and then she saved his grade by editing his final paper and rewriting large chunks of it._

_First they bonded over Movies, taking over the common room lounge in his dorm to hold Quentin Tarrentino marathons. And then road trips around town, taking random turns and nearly getting lost as they smoked blunts and chain-smoked cigarettes till they were ready to go pass out in bed. It bothered him how secretive she always was, how he had to pry for even the most boring details about her life before college. Jasper quickly realized that he was Lizzy's only friend, and soon took it upon himself to save her, and pull her into his social scene._

_Rosalie, his sister, was the only person she ever seemed interested in hanging out with besides Jasper, so he was surprised when Lizzie agreed to go to the beach party. He had begged pretty hard to get her to agree, and he knew that the shit he was getting from his friends about his 'mystery girlfriend' had something to do with his insistence._

_"Hey Jasper!" Alec had called to him one day. Jasper looked over to find him and Jane standing in the middle of the courtyard, and jogged over to talk with them. _

_"What's up?" He asked once he got closer. _

_"Friday night, Party at the beach. Jane here convinced some seniors to get us a Keg. And bring that weird mystery girl with you."_

_"Sounds good Man, but why do you want Lizzy to come? You've never talked to her. All I hear from you is how weird you think she is." Jasper asked, starting to worry about Alecs intentions. _

_"Don't worry about it man, yeah, maybe i've said some shit, and called her ManDyke a few times, but that was wrong. I realize that now. She's your friend, your my friend, why can't we all be friends?" Alec answered, grinning sweetly. _

_"Come on Alec, stop with the grinning. You know how that gets to me. " Jasper replied, turning on the charm and watching Alec squirm uncomfortably. "Ok, fine, I'll ask her."_

_"Awesome!" Alec replied, the grin on his face growing, "Remember though, I'm not gay! Don't get any ideas, even if I do grin at you like that!"_

_The next day, Jasper went by Lizzy's dorm room after his last class, finding her at the computer with headphones on as usual. Slowly, he walked up behind her, and jerked the earbuds from her ears, jumping back as she spun around surprised. _

_"Jazz! What the fuck man!" she shouted at him, still shaking slightly. _

_Jasper just laughed, enjoying the reaction he had been hoping for. _

_"Sorry hun, couldn't resist" he said, dodging just in time to avoid a slap to the face. "Friday night. Come to a party at the beach with me?" _

_Lizzy just groaned slightly, staring up at him for second. "You know I don't like parties."_

_"Right, but it will be fun, I promise. Keg, bonfire, marshmallows, music... and on the beach, lots of space. We don't have to stay long if you don't want to, swear. And besides, you promised you would go to at least one party with me before the end of the semester." jasper pleaded. "Please?"_

_"Alright, fine, I'll go, but we leave when I want to." Lizzy agreed with a sigh. _

_"Promise. Great. This will be fun." _

_They met up on the edge of campus the next night, and drove out to the beach in a line of cars, Jasper, Lizzy and Rosalie last in line behind Alec, Jane, and a couple football players Jasper didn't really know. About 15 minutes down the road, Alec suddenly put on his 4-ways and pulled over. Jasper decided to pull over also, knowing something about car repair and thinking he could help if there was a problem. _

_"Stay here, I'm going to go see what's going on." Jasper told Rosalie and Lizzy as he jumped out of the car and ran ahead to Alec. _

_Turned out something had gone wrong with Alec's car, and he had explained to Jasper that the temperature gage had shot up and he was hearing weird noises suddenly. Jasper told him to pop the trunk, and was peering around under the hood with a flashlight when he heard Lizzy yell. He had noticed the football guys getting out the the car, but didn't think much of it, figuring they just wanted to get some air while they were waiting. It wasn't until he heard a scream that he looked out from around the hood. _

_"Let go of me!" Lizzy was screaming, as she struggled to free her hands from one of the big guys grips, randomly trying to kick at his knees, but unable to make contact. Suddenly there was a loud thud as Jane shoved Rosalie against the side of the car, holding her back from trying to help free Liz. Jasper knew that Rosalie would be fine, and that her kickboxing classes would pay off against the tiny blond. _

_He ran for Liz, wrench in had ready to take out Alecs goon, when suddenly he felt cold metal to the back of his head, and collapsed. The next thing he remembered was waking up in the hospital, and being told by a nurse that Lizzy was refusing visitors. _

Jasper was suddenly pulled out of his memories when Edward began shifting underneath him. He felt a warm hand on his cheek, gently stroking down his neck, and then rubbing his shoulder slowly.

"Edward?" he whispered "You awake?"

Edward just moaned in reply, "Mmm hmm, you were shaking." he mumbled sleepily. "Why are you crying?"

Jasper pulled away, noticing the tears that had been streaming down his cheeks for the first time, and slowly sat up to wipe them away.

"Nothing, I'm fine." he said quickly "Bad dream, go back to sleep"

_"Except its not" _Jasper thought _"It's all my fault. I shouldn't have trusted Alec. All my fault..."_


	9. Chapter 9

Edward woke up early that morning, slightly surprised to find himself in Jaspers room. He suddenly remembered the night before, when he had woken to find Jasper shaking and crying against his chest. He was relieved to find Jasper sleeping soundly still, and slowly pulled his arm out from under him, slipping out of the bed.

"You're not running away are you?" Jasper called to him sleepily.

"No, just have to pee, go back to sleep." Edward assured him.

"Ok... hurry back" Jasper told him, struggling to keep his eyes open and quickly fell back to sleep.

Moments later, Edward was back in bed, waking Jasper briefly as he pressed up against his side again.

"Good... " Jasper mumbled "I'll keep you safe this time... won't let anyone hurt you..."

Several hours later, Edward and Jasper woke again to the sounds of footsteps and Jacob's drum set coming from the studio above them.

"Oi! Jasper!" Seth yelled down the stairs, "Get your ass out of bed! Emergency band practice!"

"Shut up!" Jasper yelled back "Sleeping!"

Jasper rolled over to look at Edward, who had clearly just woken up, and smiled at him.

"Sorry about that, Seth will just keep yelling till he gets a response from me."

"Don't worry about it." Edward said, pulling closer to plant a kiss on Jaspers lips.

Jasper moaned, grasping Edwards hair to pull him in closer, deepening the kiss. Just as he began moving down Edwards neck, biting and sucking his way toward Edwards chest, a loud drumming began. Jacob had began playing a fast rhythm on his drum-set, as loud as possible.

"Ugh... those bastards" Jasper groaned, reluctantly pulling away "they're just going to get more and more obnoxious until I go up there"

As if on cue, Seth joined in with his electric bass.

"Sorry, but I should go see what's up with this 'emergency band practice' before they start up the motorcycle." Jasper explained as he picked a pair of jeans and jeans and a t-shirt of the floor.

"Hey! Assholes!" Jasper yelled across the room as he came up the stairs "What the hell are you talking about with this emergency band practice?"

"He's alive!" Jacob cheered, waving his drumsticks in the air. "New song! Bella finished it last night. Well, kind of a new song. She had some brand new inspiration last night after practice for "New You". Were changing it up a little, replacing some parts with stuff we wrote a few months back. It's a new new song now. Remember those riffs and base line we were trying to turn into a song, but never really got anywhwere with? It will fit in perfect with "New You"."

"Vaguely" Jasper told him, recognizing the bass line seth had begun playing, and realizing that it probably would work. "But why now? We have a gig tonight. Shouldn't we wait and re-write another time?"

"Now, so we can play it at the gig!" Jacob explained. "It was your idea to play it tomorrow anyway, and besides, you're the one who told us Edward and Emmet were looking to sign a new band. Why wait? Show them what we can do right away! Finally get on a label!"

"It will work man, I promise, and like he said, we already have most of it written." Seth told him, just as excited as Jacob about playing a new song, in 7 hours.

"Alright" Jasper agreed, "We'll give it a try, but were not playing it tonight if were not ready. Everyone agrees."

"Deal!" Seth exclaimed, as Jake nodded in agreement, "Bella should be here any minute."

"I'll be back in 10, gotta go tell Edward plans changed." Jasper told him as he slipped back down the stairs, awaiting the inevitable whoops and cat calls from Jacob and Seth.

He ducked back into the hobbit hole to find Edward back in his running clothes, putting his shoes on.

"Hi" Edward said, looking up at him. "I heard, so I'll see you at my place later for the show."

"Sorry about that, you don't have to leave though."

"Don't worry about it, I'm sure Emmet has a long list of things for me to take care of at home. Good luck with the new song." Edward told him. He had stood up, and moved closer to Jasper, cupping his hand around the back of his neck and pulling him in for a deep kiss. Jasper shuddered at the sudden contact, and pressed is hand into Edwards lower back, pushing their hips together. Too soon, Edward pulled away, abruptly ending their groping and panting, and gently kissed Jaspers forehead.

"I have to go" Edward said, staring into Jaspers eyes. "And Jacob is right. Emmet does want to sign a new band, so fucking impress him tonight. He ultimately makes the decision."

"'Aww, so I can't fuck my way into a deal with you guys?" Jasper asked with a grin.

"You're not really Emmet's type." Edward grinned back, pulling away to leave Jaspers room.

Three hours later, Felon Love finally had the new new song done, and they could almost play it all the way through without someone forgetting a part. Mostly it was Jasper making the mistakes, he couldn't focus. His mind kept drifting back to the memories he had practically relived in his head the previous night. How he had promised Lizzy, or should it be Edward, he didn't know how to think of him in the past. He couldn't stop thinking about how it had all been his fault, that he had begged them to come, promised them that it would all be fine. And it wasn't. He fell for Alec's trap.

"He that good of a fuck?" Jacob asked, suddenly appearing inches from Jaspers face. "I saw the look on your face when he walked out the door. He that good in bed that you can't stop thinking about him?"

"No... I mean he's good. but no.." Jasper spit out, suddenly snapping back to reality. "Not why I'm distracted. Sorry. From the top again?"

"No, I think we need a break" Bella told them. "We've been working for hours. food adventure anyone?"

Jasper's stomach growled as he realized suddenly how hungry he was. "Sounds good to me. Happy Chicken?" He suggested. Half the time they ate there because of the ridiculous name, but the burritos and tortas were really good. And the sign didn't exactly say "Happy Chicken", it was just funnier to refer to it with the english translation.

Alice, who had been listening from the corner jumped up and offered to go to the taco joint with him. Once they were out of earshot from the others, who had decided on pizza or burgers instead, Alice pounced on him for information.

"There's something more to Edward then your telling me." Alice announced "He's going to be fine, you don't have to worry about him so much. He doesn't need to be protected."

Jasper stared down at her, silent, grasping for a response. He was kind of used to Alice's crazy psychic announcements and predictions, but she still always managed to throw him completely off guard.

"I know he doesn't" Jasper finally answered "But I still feel guilty, like it was all my fault."

Alice didn't reply until they had placed their orders and were sitting in a booth.

"So you figured out who he is then. Why he felt so familiar." She prompted, hoping for more from Jasper.

"I did. I knew him in Seattle, during college. Before I dropped out and met you." Jasper began. Alice stayed silent, urging him to continue.

"He's part of why I went back to Forks, the fucked up story I always refused to tell you. I didn't want to talk about it. I couldn't bear to remember it." Jasper's voice got rough and trailed off. Alice took his hand and squeezed it, noticing he was about to cry.

"Jasper, breath." Alice told him. "You didn't really lose him, he's fine, he's here now."

Jasper just nodded, staring at the basket of chips on the table. For the first time, Alices weird ability to just 'know' things was proving useful. He found it a relief to not have to explain everything.

"That doesn't make it ok though, what happened then."

Jasper continued to stare at the table, barely noticing the waitress appearing with his torta. He and Alice ate in silence before slowly walking back to the studio. "Let it go and focus on the song Jasper, you can't change the past." Alice told him as they walked back in to join the rest of the band and continue practicing.

"It's about time you showed up!" Emmet called as Jasper came into the house. "I was starting to think i was going to have to throw this show on my own."

"Sorry man, I ended up at Jaspers somehow. Wasn't planning on going there, just found myself staring at his front door, and decided to get it over with and tell him." Edward explained.

"And it went well?" Emmet guessed, "You don't seem to be freaking out right now."

"Yeah, it did actually, surprisingly well." Edward told him. "I told him my old name, and it got weird. I was suddenly terrified, expecting him to freak out on me, but he didn't. He suddenly remembered everything, from that night, and he started to cry, and apologize like crazy. He said he had no idea what Alec was planning, and was running after me to try to help me, when they knocked him out and beat him too." Edward stopped talking and stared at the floor for a few long moments.

"Why didn't I know about that?" He suddenly asked, looking at Emmet.

"I guess everyone thought they were protecting you" Emmet replied "I had heard that Dad met with the police, and some other parents, but they decided not to tell you any details. They wouldn't tell me anything either."

Edward resumed staring at the floor, processing this new information. Did his dad know how much more he had been hurt by his help? How much he had loved Jasper before everything happened, and how much the supposed betrayal had broken him?

"I wish they had told me." Edward finally admitted. " I would have agreed to talk to Jasper if I had known. He could have helped me sooner."

"Maybe." Emmet told him. "You didn't trust anyone though, not even me, or your doctors. the mention of Jaspers name sent you into panic attacks, and fits of violence. I think they were afraid of how you would react to that kind of news. Afraid you would get worse, stop talking all together."

Edward sank into the couch, wondering if Emmet was right. He had refused to speak for weeks after being moved back to forks, began cutting himself, and wound up on the psych ward on suicide watch. They did try to get him to talk about Jasper, but the sound of the name would put him over the edge every time.

_"Fucking bastard!" He would exclaim, "Don't say that name.. I hate him, I fucking hate that bastard. Not my friend, never was..." Edward had rambled on and on, quickly becoming incoherent, before dropping to his knees and screaming, a fearful, pained look in his eyes. Then he would turn on his doctor. "You know that!" He would scream at her "You know I don't want to hear that name! You're doing this to hurt me! I hate you too!" _

_More than once, after throwing objects across the room, or trying to punch his doctor, he would find himself sedated, and being dragged down the hall to a seclusion room by a couple orderlies. _

"Probably." Edward finally stated, snapping out of a daydream. "I was pretty fucked up then, wasn't I."

"Yeah, you could say that." Emmet agreed. "But no one blamed you for it. Some fucked up shit did happen to you."

They sat on the couch in silence for a minute, neither brother knowing what to say. Suddenly Emmet's phone beeped, breaking the silence. He picked it up, and stared and the new text message.

"Flyers for the 'From the Ground Up' record release party are ready. We should hand those out tonight." Emmet announced. "Do you want to go pick them up at the printers, or stay here and start hiding valuables?"

"I'll get everything ready here. The kid at the counter hates when I go in there, I may have overreacted a little once when they screwed up a job. I think he's afraid of me now. Gets all nervous and starts dropping things." Edward told him.

Emmet just burst out laughing.

"Smart kid." He said, once he was able to stop laughing. "I've heard some of your tangents in checkout lines, I would be kinda scared too."

"Haha, fine, so I can be a bit of a difficult customer sometimes." Edward admitted. He stood up and headed for the stairs. "I need a shower, and coffee, then I can be productive." he announced. "See you later!"

**A/N- Hmmm, this story seems to be getting a little dark. Happier times are coming soon! I promise! Thanks for reading!**


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